Everyone has the right to have a bad day at any cost. Still, when a bad day has turned into a bad week, or maybe even a bad month, it’s time to stop and evaluate before your leadership reputation is on the line.
It is important to be aware of the attitude and energy you display in order to be effective and respected in leadership. During times of pressure and stress, the brain defaults to familiar behavior patterns, even when the behavior is helpful for the situation. These patterns may be destructive and undetectable unless the consequences are clearly evident and dangerous.
it’s self-sabotage Here are some helpful pointers to be at your best, and how to stop it from getting the best of you.
There are five common self-sabotaging identities that undermine and, in some cases, hinder future opportunities and successes for some of the most talented executives and entrepreneurs.
Negative behaviors include:
- being the complainant. Constantly pointing out what’s going wrong in a situation keeps you from presenting yourself as the problem-solver and expert in the room.
- to be defensive Always having an explanation for your actions—even when they’re not working—prevents you from building trust with clients and team members.
- Being hypercritical. If you are looking for a problem with every solution, you will never be able to find a solution to the problem.
- Self-condemnation. If you underestimate your ability to handle problems from the very beginning, you will hold yourself back from doing the tasks.
- Being lucky. When we power up to the worst, we can even make it a reality and we forget our chances for success.
Most people identify with a primary self-sabotaging identity type, and some self-identify into multiple categories.
Developing an awareness of the hallmarks of your sabotaging behavior is the first step in interrupting destructive patterns. The next step is to adapt a positive behavior disruptor to change the current behavior pattern. The prompt is to specify a trigger word for the self-sabotaging behavior to activate the new behavior. The trigger word becomes a signal of the new response when the instinct is to initiate a self-sabotage pattern.
Trigger words to increase your success
- To eliminate the complaint, think about ELEVATE. Constantly complaining and fixing obstacles turns a small problem into a big one. Leaders enhance the mindset of others when they redefine challenging situations and present possibilities. Taking up the constraint approach gives more perspective and clarity on the issue and more morale in achieving positive results.
- To stop getting defensive, think QUESTION. Defensive behavior prevents customers and team members from being seen, heard, and accepted. Asking a question, “How did this situation affect you?” Provides an opportunity to better understand the other’s perspective to achieve a mutually beneficial resolution.
- Think ahead to avoid being hypercritical. Finding a problem with every solution keeps you stuck in the problem, and questions your tenacity to find the solution. Instead of waiting for the right solution, commit to trying different solutions until the best possibility is uncovered.
- To overcome self-deprecation, think about EMBRACE. Customers and team members look to you as a leader for your unique gifts and inspiration. Embracing your talents means validating your natural talents and strengths so that you can solve any problem with confidence.
- To defeat the fatalist, think about RECALIBRATE. To avoid bringing the worst in life, treat your mind like a GPS. As each obstacle is detected, guide your thought process to circle it toward the optimal destination.
Posting trigger words in places you see them often provides a visual reminder of new behavior patterns. Places like the wallpaper on your phone, the Post-It on your computer screen, or the hand written on top of a legal pad are useful places to reinforce the changes you’re making.
Many executives and entrepreneurs overestimate the amount of work done in pursuit of their goals, rather than the attitude and energy they release in the process. They find time to go above and beyond by demonstrating the quality of their work, reinforcing the belief that hard work will lead to great success. While there’s no disputing that hard work is part of the equation, it’s important to recognize that, alone, you’ll only get so much.
Hard work married with mental strength is a dynamic pairing that protects your success from self-sabotaging behavior.